Tuesday, March 01, 2005

I can see clearly now: I've had to rely on glasses or contacts since the third grade. Now I can wake up in the morning and see what time it is.

The Lasik appears to have worked. Things still look a little hazy, but I'm told that this is normal and may take a week or so to clear up. I may even need follow-up surgery in a few months. But so far I can see pretty damn well.

The surgery was a weird experience, and not for the weak of stomach. The doctor had me lie face up underneath a machine and told me to keep staring straight ahead at a green light. He numbed my eyes with some drops, then pried my eyelids open with a plastic doohickey, like something out of A Clockwork Orange.

Then came the fun part. The doctor used what I believe was a small electric saw to slice open my cornea. There's nothing quite like seeing someone peel back the top layer of your own eyeball. Then, keeping with the theme of 1970s psychedelic movies, the lasers went to work. The green light blurred to orange, and white and red lights swirled throughout my field of vision. I was just doing my best to keep my eye perfectly still. I guess I was doing okay, because the doctor kept coaching me along, saying, "good ... excellent ... you're doing great ... perfect ... good".

It only took a few minutes for each eye. After getting my cornea put back in place, I sat up, and the doctor gleefully pointed at the clock, indicating that I should now be able to read it (reading clocks appear to be the only goal for us sightless souls). Truthfully, everything looked foggy, and I was a bit disoriented. They led me to a La-Z-Boy chair in the waiting room and gave me some Tylenol PM. It took a while to kick in, as my eyes started stinging something fierce. Eventually my friend picked me up and drove me home. I could hardly open my eyes the whole time.

By the time I hit my bed, the Tylenol PM had gone into effect, and I slept most of the day. I have to wear plastic shields over my eyes while I sleep because I'm not allowed to rub my eyes at all for a week. I was also given several types of eyedrops to use during that time. But if my eyes stay this good, then I'd have to say the Lasik was worth the small fortune I spent. We'll see.