Wednesday, April 19, 2006

What Are You Smoking? Stupid people have decided to file a $5-billion class-action lawsuit against DuPont for the dangers that Teflon pans create.

Nobody has gotten sick or died because of Teflon. But the potential is there, say the stupid people, and DuPont should have warned everybody.

The evidence the stupid people present includes a study from the 1950s that says if you put Teflon particles in a cigarette and smoke it, then you could get sick. Also, if you heat up a Teflon pan without putting any food in it, it will begin to smoke and the handle will melt. After all that happens, toxic fumes could be released that may make you sick or kill your pet bird.

This has not actually happen yet, but it could, say the stupid people. NPR dutifully reported this, giving me a reason to more forcefully hit the snooze button this morning.

Perhaps it's the nature of 24-hour news cycles, but the antics and concerns of the inane seem to get more and more press coverage. It reminds me of that dumb guy who filmed the movie Super Size Me, showing what happens if you eat nothing but McDonald's three meals a day for 30 days. Lo and behold, you can get sick.

Sorry, but that has nothing to do with people who normally eat at McDonald's. If you eat nothing but cucumbers and carrot juice three times a day for 30 days, bad things are going to happen to your body. That's not an indictment against cucumbers, but it does say an awful lot about the person who engages in such activities.